My World Came Crashing Down...
Ok.. now... My world came crashing down on me... yes.. I do have my own world and you do live in it!!! If you're reading this then you are in it!! Anyways... I just realize how hard it fell down on me and everything... I'm soo stressed out this week!!
Monday: Today... I wasn't ready for my Government class to present my Bill to the class.... and the teacher literature the whole fucking class.... I found out that I have a D in Psychology class.... I'm two points away from a C though.... so... add in participation points I'm good... but I'm still not good.. and my Psychology teacher knows that I'm not studying and that I lied to him that I did... I'm pretty good with my teachers and everything so they know right away if I'm lieing or not... and especially my Psychology teacher... I had him for 3 years.. so he knows me and my family pretty well..Oh yeah...and I just finished my 3rd final for English!!and also I had to pratice singing for tommorrow performance...
Tuesday: I have a performance to do this day... Call time is 6:00pm.... it's in San Gabriel High School... those are for all those people that want to go... 801 S Ramona St. San Gabriel, CA.... and it starts at 7:00pm... I have to turn in and do my english homework due this day... because presentation is on Thursday with my group.. and we didn't do shit yet.... and This day I have to study for my psychology test for Wednesday and review with my class.. and I know that's not enough.... and then Talent Show audition is this day.. I feel so left out that no one asked me to do the talent show with them... even my own friend is going to do it with someone else and she used to hate/envy... and oh well.. I tried singing with my friend Joey... and we'll see what's gonna happen....
Wednesday:I have a Governement Admanment due presentation today... FUCKING SHIT... I also have a Psychology test and I'm not even ready because I was absent last Thursday and Friday and Monday is the only thing I learned.. and it's nothing compare to the whole fucking module... and there's nothing to learn new on Tuesday because it's review only..and this is bullshit... and then I also have a Math quiz... and I better take it... because if I don't then there's no make up... i know imma fail this shit anyways... and if I don't pass my math class then I have to take night school.. just so I can graduate high school...and then the colleges... (CalStates) don't look at your night school classed you took and would count that as a fail... and then I have to go to community college...and I don't want to live in the fucking community...I wanna fucking get the fuck outta here.... PLUS then..I have DRAMA PERFORMANCE TOO!! I didn't even fucking remember my lines at all!!
Thursday: My English presentation is this day... fucking sucks... All the proverbs from the book called "Things Fall Apart"... shit.... EVERYTHING IS FUCKING FALLING APART.... after the bullshit is done... I have to see if my group want to do another fucking presentation for Earth Science class... so we can get extra credit...and fuck I need that shit!!! But we can't because one of the girls in our group she's not going to be here the whole fucking week because she's in soccer and she has games on wednesday... thursday..and friday...and she can't be here on Tuesday with us because she's sick!!!
Friday:I think this would be the most relaxed day of them all...ALTHOUGH!! this day is "WINTERBALL" DANCE!! I don't want to be FUCKING ASKED ANYMORE!! I don't want to go with ANYONE!!! just stop fucking asking me and shit!! I'm saying no now...and I'mma gonna say NO later!!! I don't want to go... if I go to the Winterball then I can't fucking go to the Opera the next day which is Saturday... although.. I'm still stressed about going to see in for about 4 hours and shit for it and seeing Placido Domingo in person again.. But I am still deciding if I'mma fucking go to this shit or not... I'm not making my last year any fucking fun at all
!!!so yeah!! anyways!! That's my fucking week......
During this week..I soo felt like I wanted to drop outta High School and shit...I rather fucking live in a box and crawl under the cement ground and just vanish into it.. i want to just jump out the fucking car and just have some car "accidently" hit me... and I hope it's someone I know so they can tell all my fucking family and friends to see what it feels like to be without me!! NOTHING AND I KNOW IT!!! TOO MUCH DRAMA IN SCHOOL!! NO MORE!! TOO STRESS... I can't handle this SHIT!!! I need a fucking VACATION AND SHIT!!
To Top it ALL OFF!! today.... (12-12-05) okie... my fucking ankle hurts like a shit!! I think I sprung it yesterday walking and running in the fucking mall.. .I probally twisted it and not even fucking know... Oh fucking well! tough shit for me... I came home from karate today and shit..and the upstairs den lights was shut off.. I came upstairs to my room and to crawl under my blanket..and then I bumped into my mom sitting alone in the fucking dark with some 36 years old retard... obviously too fucking young for her..and she was like standing up and shit...and her hair was messed up... she was probally having sex with this fucking dude before I even fucking came home and she had sex hair and shit!! can't fucking cover that shit up...at least go to your room or some shit like that... fucking idiots!! I hate her to the bone as always... I never got along with my mom ever.. I took thearphy with her..and that shit don't help at all... all she fucking do is lie to the lady...and then make it such a sob story about why she raised a child like me... and how perfect my little brother is and how I should be more like him... with welcome to reality bitch!! I'm not 10...and You have never been there for my whole life..and you can't just like fucking quit work and just to PRETEND to take care of me and go and fucking screw everyone you fucking know and shit!! this is not how the fucking world works.. sorry mom... You haven't been there when I was younger..and all you do is fucking work...and what the fuck do you do...handjobs?? sucking dicks for bling?!?? shit...I thought growing up I could be like her working hard to provide for the family...and it's just bullshit...because all you care about is having 3 houses and 3 cars... honda...mercedes..and your lexus...and that's about it...Money can't buy you love hunny...sorry!! You haven't been there for me when I was younger and hell fuck you ain't gonna be here for me when I'm older!!! I used to take the metro bus to school everyday of my life till I was about 14 years old... shit... I think about it..and I was like... I was like 7 years old in Los Angeles in the ghetto and taking the metro bus everything to school and from school..that's shit!! I seen shit ....
Plus... I feel soo fucking dirty and shit... I gotta go and take a bubble bath and wash my hair and shit... I feel sooooooo dirty... it's not even funny..I feel like I have like 5 layers of mud on me right now..and I feel like fleas are in my hair eating my scalpe..and shit...so I gotta get ready and take a shower or something and smell pretty for tommorrow's performance and pretty for the rest of my fucked up week and shit...
My new jacket!! it's soo comfy though...I'mma sleep with it!!
Monday: Today... I wasn't ready for my Government class to present my Bill to the class.... and the teacher literature the whole fucking class.... I found out that I have a D in Psychology class.... I'm two points away from a C though.... so... add in participation points I'm good... but I'm still not good.. and my Psychology teacher knows that I'm not studying and that I lied to him that I did... I'm pretty good with my teachers and everything so they know right away if I'm lieing or not... and especially my Psychology teacher... I had him for 3 years.. so he knows me and my family pretty well..Oh yeah...and I just finished my 3rd final for English!!and also I had to pratice singing for tommorrow performance...
Tuesday: I have a performance to do this day... Call time is 6:00pm.... it's in San Gabriel High School... those are for all those people that want to go... 801 S Ramona St. San Gabriel, CA.... and it starts at 7:00pm... I have to turn in and do my english homework due this day... because presentation is on Thursday with my group.. and we didn't do shit yet.... and This day I have to study for my psychology test for Wednesday and review with my class.. and I know that's not enough.... and then Talent Show audition is this day.. I feel so left out that no one asked me to do the talent show with them... even my own friend is going to do it with someone else and she used to hate/envy... and oh well.. I tried singing with my friend Joey... and we'll see what's gonna happen....
Wednesday:I have a Governement Admanment due presentation today... FUCKING SHIT... I also have a Psychology test and I'm not even ready because I was absent last Thursday and Friday and Monday is the only thing I learned.. and it's nothing compare to the whole fucking module... and there's nothing to learn new on Tuesday because it's review only..and this is bullshit... and then I also have a Math quiz... and I better take it... because if I don't then there's no make up... i know imma fail this shit anyways... and if I don't pass my math class then I have to take night school.. just so I can graduate high school...and then the colleges... (CalStates) don't look at your night school classed you took and would count that as a fail... and then I have to go to community college...and I don't want to live in the fucking community...I wanna fucking get the fuck outta here.... PLUS then..I have DRAMA PERFORMANCE TOO!! I didn't even fucking remember my lines at all!!
Thursday: My English presentation is this day... fucking sucks... All the proverbs from the book called "Things Fall Apart"... shit.... EVERYTHING IS FUCKING FALLING APART.... after the bullshit is done... I have to see if my group want to do another fucking presentation for Earth Science class... so we can get extra credit...and fuck I need that shit!!! But we can't because one of the girls in our group she's not going to be here the whole fucking week because she's in soccer and she has games on wednesday... thursday..and friday...and she can't be here on Tuesday with us because she's sick!!!
Friday:I think this would be the most relaxed day of them all...ALTHOUGH!! this day is "WINTERBALL" DANCE!! I don't want to be FUCKING ASKED ANYMORE!! I don't want to go with ANYONE!!! just stop fucking asking me and shit!! I'm saying no now...and I'mma gonna say NO later!!! I don't want to go... if I go to the Winterball then I can't fucking go to the Opera the next day which is Saturday... although.. I'm still stressed about going to see in for about 4 hours and shit for it and seeing Placido Domingo in person again.. But I am still deciding if I'mma fucking go to this shit or not... I'm not making my last year any fucking fun at all
!!!so yeah!! anyways!! That's my fucking week......
During this week..I soo felt like I wanted to drop outta High School and shit...I rather fucking live in a box and crawl under the cement ground and just vanish into it.. i want to just jump out the fucking car and just have some car "accidently" hit me... and I hope it's someone I know so they can tell all my fucking family and friends to see what it feels like to be without me!! NOTHING AND I KNOW IT!!! TOO MUCH DRAMA IN SCHOOL!! NO MORE!! TOO STRESS... I can't handle this SHIT!!! I need a fucking VACATION AND SHIT!!
To Top it ALL OFF!! today.... (12-12-05) okie... my fucking ankle hurts like a shit!! I think I sprung it yesterday walking and running in the fucking mall.. .I probally twisted it and not even fucking know... Oh fucking well! tough shit for me... I came home from karate today and shit..and the upstairs den lights was shut off.. I came upstairs to my room and to crawl under my blanket..and then I bumped into my mom sitting alone in the fucking dark with some 36 years old retard... obviously too fucking young for her..and she was like standing up and shit...and her hair was messed up... she was probally having sex with this fucking dude before I even fucking came home and she had sex hair and shit!! can't fucking cover that shit up...at least go to your room or some shit like that... fucking idiots!! I hate her to the bone as always... I never got along with my mom ever.. I took thearphy with her..and that shit don't help at all... all she fucking do is lie to the lady...and then make it such a sob story about why she raised a child like me... and how perfect my little brother is and how I should be more like him... with welcome to reality bitch!! I'm not 10...and You have never been there for my whole life..and you can't just like fucking quit work and just to PRETEND to take care of me and go and fucking screw everyone you fucking know and shit!! this is not how the fucking world works.. sorry mom... You haven't been there when I was younger..and all you do is fucking work...and what the fuck do you do...handjobs?? sucking dicks for bling?!?? shit...I thought growing up I could be like her working hard to provide for the family...and it's just bullshit...because all you care about is having 3 houses and 3 cars... honda...mercedes..and your lexus...and that's about it...Money can't buy you love hunny...sorry!! You haven't been there for me when I was younger and hell fuck you ain't gonna be here for me when I'm older!!! I used to take the metro bus to school everyday of my life till I was about 14 years old... shit... I think about it..and I was like... I was like 7 years old in Los Angeles in the ghetto and taking the metro bus everything to school and from school..that's shit!! I seen shit ....
Plus... I feel soo fucking dirty and shit... I gotta go and take a bubble bath and wash my hair and shit... I feel sooooooo dirty... it's not even funny..I feel like I have like 5 layers of mud on me right now..and I feel like fleas are in my hair eating my scalpe..and shit...so I gotta get ready and take a shower or something and smell pretty for tommorrow's performance and pretty for the rest of my fucked up week and shit...
PERFORMANCE:
SAN GABRIEL HIGH SCHOOL (SGHS)
801 S Ramona St. San Gabriel, CA
Time: 7:00pm at the GYM!!
12-13-05
Alright!! I think this is the most I talked about me in my blog and shit!! so peace out..and I'm out..Thanks for all those people that actually fucking read this shit and not just look at my pictures!! Love ya guys!! love ya Greg... And You're awesome Javier!!! Chris and Dave... dont' know where you are.. but you're cool too... Symon... you kick ass!!
My new jacket!! it's soo comfy though...I'mma sleep with it!!
posted by Shirley at
12/12/2005 06:50:00 PM
5 Comments:
It's very sad that most of us have to deal with shit like that. But that's your story you gotta heart mine but I ain't gonna bring you more problems because you are passing through some tough shit right now.
You look smart And I don't know why you are failing at school. What happened? You sais you have only ditched like two or three times in your whole life so I don't uinderstand that shit. And your teachers are cool with you and shit so what's up with that?
You are not even old enough to deal with real problems. But I feel sorry for you and your mom's realtionship. My mom and I are like friends I don't call her mom I called her Monica I don't know where I found her that name but it's a lot better of her real name (Her real name is the name of the street of that high school you are gonna perform tomorrow).
Don't think about committing a suicide. Life's too short and somehow someway we have to grow up someday and learn how to stay strong at all times. We need to fight for what we really love.
I read your blog early when I read it I was gonna call you but I remember you can't pick up the phone when you're home.
You know you have me for whatever you need. You can always count on me as a friend who will be there for you 24/7 I'm a night person like a vampire I sleep Mostly during the day. You know I told you I work at night.
"No olvides que te quiero mucho, aunque tu no me quieras"
+PEACE+
So today's the day!!
thanks you guys.. you're the best!!
Are you ready?
aww... almost time
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home